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Ready Or Not -- a review


It’s interesting that, just as I sit down to watch Ready Or Not, there’s a huge flare up in the media about how Royal lovebirds Meghan and Harry have made the decision to step back from their duties as members of the British Royal family, and will only stay in England part time from now on. As a fan of the democratic process, I was never a cheerleader of royalty, but when I heard that Meghan and Harry had basically said, “Thanks, but no thanks,” I was actually pleased to hear this.



All through history, the British Royal family have proven themselves to be one of the biggest pack of scumbags to ever slither across the earth. The original thirteen colonies had a revolution just to get away from them, after all. And if Meghan and Harry really want to put some distance between themselves and these demented dipshits, all I can say is “Godspeed, kids, and keep running….”



And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Some folks have taken this view even further. 2019 saw the release of two horror films that showed how the rich were not just morally repugnant pricks, but that they were soulless enough to achieve their power and status by worshiping Satan himself. Satanic Panic was a fun, over the top horror/comedy about a pizza delivery girl trying to avoid the sacrificial altar over the course of one night. Ready Or Not is basically the same story, but told with a more subtle, less slapstick tone. And it’s just as immensely enjoyable.



Samara Weaving stars as Grace, a young bride who’s marrying into a wealthy family that, on the surface, made their fortune through board games. After getting married in a large ceremony on the family’s spacious grounds, Grace is informed by her husband (Adam Brody) that it’s a family tradition for the latest addition to the family to play a game with them at midnight. Grace, wanting to integrate herself with her new family, is more than happy to oblige this ritual. Yet when she randomly picks the card stating “hide and seek” from a box, Grace has unwittingly been made a sacrificial lamb.



For while Grace must go and hide in the huge mansion, she soon realizes that, once they find her, the family must kill her to appease Old Scratch--a family ancestor had made a pact with the devil years ago so that he could gain all the money in the world. If Grace is not killed by dawn, the family fears that they will all die in her place.



The more subtle tone works very well in Ready Or Not’s favor--because, at first, it just looks like Grace is simply battling a family of crazed maniacs, where even its young children try to join in on killing her because its fun and they just want to help the adults. This creates an interesting theme that speaks to dysfunctional families, and how they make abnormal behavior seem normal, especially to a children growing up in such an unhealthy environment. Another theme the movie explores is how the rich see poor people as merely these subhuman things that are to be used in however manner they wish. When one of the maids is accidentally killed in a skirmish, her death is seen more as an annoyance than anything else, with the hapless maid’s body being dumped in a corpse disposal pit on the property. As it’s pointed out in the movie, there really are different rules for the wealthy, as opposed to the average person.



Samara Weaving is superb here as Grace, who readily rises to the challenge of trying to stay alive through the night. But the entire cast is also excellent: Henry Czerny, Andie MacDowell, and Melanie Scrofano (who’s best known as the titular character from TV’s Wynona Earp) are among the great actors that expertly play the whiny rich brats who become peeved at how Grace just won’t lie down and die like she’s supposed to, gosh darn it! This fantastic group of actors, supported by a great script and sturdy direction, create in Ready Or Not a film that’s not only extremely fun to watch, but offers plenty of food for thought during its mesmerizing banquet. Don’t miss it. --SF



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